Free Expression

She impressed her reasoning
on my conscious

Exploratory me
proceeded to breakdown
the conscious slash / reasoning
meet and greet

Am I free to speak?

Wondering the time frame
for the unexpected Promotion of feelings
conditional social strategies
predicting when falling is…

…Allowed

Somehow i had a plan of
predetermined precursors
passing points pointing out
what i thought love was

If it came in the first ten minutes of conversation
or
the first ten years of sharing space in a so called friend equation

What's the difference?

Means to express what
this anomaly beating my chest means
Freezes on thoughts like frigid nights
meaning I'm way past like..

Like, describes hobbies and food

This is not how i describe you...


Longing for nights
Liberating dreams trapped in daylight
released into an audible stream
connected to you and me

I relish these things...

I LOVE those things...

.that's how i describe you.

10 Things

1 bar
Long Island Iced Tea
At the
South Street Seaport
Outdoors
2nd floor
We’ve had 3 dates
this month
I’m waiting on the call
For
Number 4 to jump off
It’s 5 in the evening
I’m here slow sipping
Dinner reservations
At 6
7 sips later
I’m flagging
The bartender
8 glances at my watch
On the 9th
I get a call
Baby I’m running
10 minutes late

*After all day…I guess I can wait*

"So Moody"

This is that
Smooth
Yet

Beautiful... existing...warm noise
Poised to carry my soul into
The Light

Gentle Breeze
Summertime
Ivory keys...playing on ...melodic feelings

Acoustics... strumming... sentiments
As
I lean
on the wheel
Gently

Windows rolled down
Careful not to
Move beyond five miles per hour

My soulful sense
Dispensed from lowered
Windows
Peeling tint
Just a
Product of this mood that I'm in

This is that

Captivating
Yet
Stiletto
Six inch height
Calves
Carved muscle
Mass

Bite my lip
Step by step
Written
Into my past
As
Sexual
Stimulation
Beyond
My fixation
On her

A.S.S

Listen - Shhhhhh

Pen meets
Paper
Thoughts
Sound like
Morning
Meets night
Birds sing
Outside
Illuminated
By
These words we write

This is life

Blues
Collide
With
Funk
Sparking
Spawning
Liberal attitudes
Staining
Dark skies
With
Provisional Contextual Sunlight

Caution to
Wind
Often prevents
This absurd
Suggestion that
I’m in this to win

Not at all

It's just a reflection of this mood that I’m in

Hide and seek

She be, everything

Everything that I compiled in a dream

Wandering

Lonely type, crossing off  - lifes  - likes and dislikes

Making my aura ripple

…Cause and effect

.

I

.

Stand in stolen moments

Hoping to be accosted by justice

And I won’t seek your mercy

This I promise… Damn Ms.

.

 Windsor knots overlap with time

Meaning every morning

Before work,  I’m, running behind..

Daydreams begin when I open my eyes

.

Focus is impossible

Because of beautiful you

Silhouetted against the intrusive sun beams

Leaves less space for me to breathe

.

And

.

Catching my breath takes time

.

Funny thing is

It’s so not my style to

Reveal the reason for my smile

I’d rather coax computer keys into speaking for me

Written explanations and portions of me

The confused mans version of poetry

My perverted means to exhale my misery

.
She has me

Leaving the house minus the keys

Locking the door forgetting my coffee

.

Wait.. stop.. breathe..

What the fuck just happened?

My life was infused with

Text messages and thoughts

That, move me

Like scenes from a movie

Has me

Motionless and holding cards close to my vest

.

This, this is where my head’s at

As I run into the turnstile

Still daydreaming

Still caught in a self motivated coaching session

.

I won’t be bested!

.

Hold on, my phone is vibrating

You have one new message

.

Damn, this is some bullshit, lol

Could Be

Could be… that the thoughts were

Transmitted via osmosis

DVR’d emotions replayed in slow motion

I love this shit

I never felt her skin

But would often pretend to be in the know

Midnight writes by candlelight and takeout

My space being  heated by the stove

That’s how real it is..

Words flow effortlessly

Seldom leaving thoughts incomplete

…Walk with me

Hold on… I need pinky to pinky connectivity

Could be…  that the connection made

Evolved over conversations woven together by

Happenstance – word play – and verbal foreplay

Wait..

When my pen curves characters by her design

And

When submissions become conditions of my heart

Cocooned in pieces Breaching lines when maturity is reached

…. There’s something to be said

I see the world through your eyes

Writes became fluid forms of, we..

Divisible portions of me carried the same form of speak

….life is love

…love is poetry

Could be…

Courage...

I just met courage...

She be ... filled with estrogen
developed strength, from
wisdom passed down from the heavens

instilled in her family lineage
given the privileged
she provided me glimpses
into the
miracles

or

at least

Wondrous [Pre - Views]

Superhero status

The Baddest... Most outstanding... Physical apparatus
I've ever seen before
I mean, Fuck swagger
character was key
bench pressing life
effortlessly
impressing me with every step taken
in the dark as if she walked
the distance of this countries
highways and Bi-ways

Eyes closed

Yeah...and i would follow

See... She Be

Ancestry revisited
with unobstructed visions
of what's to be

.if.

we make it what we want

Courage, casting shadows
of comforting conversions of cowardice
if it wasn't sure before...

i assure you, now it is...

She be... My hero...

I'm in awe of, Courage...

In love with the New-ness of it all --- My Opinion

When I think about it, I think that I fall for the reaction that I get from a sarcastic comment. That’s not to say that the style of dress and straight teeth don’t come into play… They  absolutely do! lol.. I’m talking about the first of many ‘first’ and the eager anticipation that we have for yet another, well, first. Let’s take it a step further, Let’s talk about the first encounter and the first time that you caught yourself wandering into an involuntary thought about that person and it forced an untimed smile. Remember that?  That thought was provoked by a back and forth debate about opened toed shoes and when they’re in season, or something nonsensical like that. I know for sure that would have been my topic of choice…lol. These first are pieces of history that’s being created in the moment. These moments come from plans that were sketched out in our minds and played in reverse because we ALL know it never happens the way that we want it to.

Relationships that last beyond the ‘first’ are to be treasured. So often, I find that the ‘first’ are just a camouflage for the true lack of effort or over dressed products of relationship gamesmanship. A quick for instance, you meet your mate in the club, She has on $500.00 shoes $1000.00 bag, we won’t address the outfit because I’m finding that more often women will bargain hunt for that. Getting back to my point, the outfit is a trap. It wasn’t put together to look good, it’s to promote a false status. This is to boost the king of ‘first’. The first impression! Ladies, don’t take it the wrong way, guys front hard-body too! I just can’t expose all of the secrets, I’m a guy..lol.

Getting back to my original thought.. when we reflect on past relationships, we often reflect on the first time we saw a movie together, first time we woke up together, spent the night.. in some cases the first time we got caught seeking the FIRST feeling again (cheating) lol…

The gist of  it is.. First are like orgasms, we love to have them. Making them 'last' (such irony) is the challenge.

Static Cling

Free... Really isn't beyond my union
internalizing random events
dark tinted soul... closed windows

EYES WIDE SHUT

Influx of feelings
flushing rational thinking from me
sipping tea on the third story

Building..

A
history of events
ready to vent
feeling like life needs replenishing

Phone Rings..

Baby, I'm falling
faithfully flailing, hands
grasp at the thought
of things I'm still trying to understand

Holding the phone
expressing what you mean
as if you were some thing
as oppose to
the carrier of memories
drenching fantasies in a pot of reality

I need to see you...

Squeezing the phone
as if to mesh with your voice
holding words
on the tip of my tongue

I lo... I'm in Lo..

Baby... I need to see you...

I'm on my way downtown
carrying a conversation
through vehicle congestion

Baby.. you still there?
I'm almost there...

I Double parked.. following my heart
I'm across the street
at the Park...

What's wrong? she asked holding my hand
There are some things i need you to understand

I LOVE YOU...

I always have
from the sick days
to days when we were allotted time just to play

You held me together
as cocky as this persona
crafts images of independence
you are my sole reference
of

Real Love

Co-dependant

With a purpose

No ring can express
the shift in my chest

I FUCKING Love you...

Hand Written

Collaboration By: Allison “Essence M” Edwards  & Chris Styles

Allison

I remember the first night I realized you weren't next to me.

I had to get up and look for you.

I found you under my sheets,

placed you gingerly in my hand

and utilized you with what passion I had within me.

I loved and still do love how you feel in my hands.

Your gentle yet so rough edges brush my fingertips

and I get aroused knowing that something exciting

will form from our interaction.

I place my hand on top and feel how smooth you are.

I feel the intimate places where I've inked my signature upon your canvas.

Never once did I think I'd leave my mark on you

but I did and I have proving to all that you are mine and I am yours.

Pieces of me intertwine within your open spirit

leaving me breathless and in tears.

You accept me totally

flaws and all as I notice the sharp lines I've left.

There are no mistakes,

only new beginnings and with each passing day I fall deeper in love with you.

You are truly my muse and I breathe because of you.

Chris

I remember our first embrace

My fingers traced your back like,

A blind man trying to find his way

drawing mental pictures, imagining your features

from the curvatures of your face

See, I was..

..displaced in empty mental

Yet, we were still able to communicate

It was the flexibility of the conversations

That enabled me to truly be free

I could,

Spit that curb dialect without it being viewed

As hood rhetoric exposing the roots within me

And

For that I love you..

You listened to me when

my devotion switched lanes

chasing dreams in lace and high heels

raising concern about, what it is I really feel

allowing me to hit guard rails and fish tail

ok.. ok - I was out of control for real..

but

these stories were kept between the margins

I smudged the ink a little boosting the authenticity

Since shit is now dispensed via Tweets and other forms of Social Media

I still fucks with you

It doesn’t matter how you’re viewed

Be it in pixel format or on leaves of paper

You still birth my thoughts in the likeness of beautiful you

…Poetry

Remembering Our Spot

i

Coined some phases… ticklish foot-sy parties
Pardon me
.
postpartum depression
Crept in
….
Past adventures
We have partaken in
.
i
.
Still walk by
Spots we inhabited
During our
Enraptured course of action
The Statue in Central Park
Where we decided
Our personalities
Meshed so well, that
Being apart
Was no longer an option
.
We became
A formidable concoction
Of
Not so much Love
As it was
A mounting trust
.
Yeah, the statue is still there
.
Today I used the same spoon I used to
drizzle Honey on you
.
For the first time
Experimenting
Acting like
i
Made a living at it
.
Talking hella sexy shit
.
Between
.
Slow
.
Deliberate
.
Eager licks
……
Remember Mikes Deli?
Honey glazed turkey
Light mayo
Salt and pepper
.
Saturday special
Our
Day to
Somewhat cuddle
Appear lazy
And
Let the day
.
Just pass us by
.
I was in the video store today
The Drama isle
When I had to stop and smile

.
Caught a vision of
Déjà vu
I was so certain
This was the very spot that I first said
I Loved You!
.
The people standing next to me
Smiled as I fell into thought
And
Mouthed “I love You”
As if I were speaking directly to you
..
I swear
The Silly shit I do
…
The Guess jeans
That
Cornered deceitful me
By means of
Offering up information
On the other “She”
. 

Made their way to me today
.

I was in the hamper
Separating clothes
Not knowing
I’d be separating the past from present
Coming across
A painful lesson
.
.
Stuck reminiscing
Blankly staring at
An old pair of earrings
That you gave back to me
After finding the number in the jeans
.
. .
.
Such a hurtful thing
Not even worth mentioning after
Playboy status
With flawed techniques
Doomed me
In a game
Being Played for keeps
.
That was younger me

Got Change?

"close your eyes.. Do you feel that?"

If I switched my speech from

Hey Ma to yes love

That means

I'm caught up in the rush

Of

What could be termed as stage 3 lust

…it’s not

Respectfully speaking

Ironically so

Yes  Love, feels  right

It embodies the second half of - incomplete

Certain words that became fixtures

Less than rudimentary to me

But..

Beautiful you

Holds my mind in the comfort of conversation

Reveling in foreign destinations

That until recently were only

figments of my imagination

I’m swimming in the newness

Addicted to the unpredictability

Of the situation unfolding before me

… I fucks with you.

I was crooked

My Bent ways remained skewed

Screws and views

Were a bit  loose

Until I  crashed into you

Now

Visions of the past are viewed in a cracked rear view

And me?

A changed individual

Interlocking aspects that accent our features

Cross referencing

My current reflection to maintain this positive direction

So

Change me, are no longer silent pleas…

9 MONTH WAIT

Calming you via
Wiping your eyebrow
Looking deep into your eyes
Like
Baby, what now?

I carried the weight
of a nine month wait
minus labor pains
never missing prenatal dates
longing for our big day

This Is
The sound of
Elated me post dated
The only expiration date
.
Comes with the last push
.
The last revelation of
Mans greatest feat

You being able to truly
Replicate me

Boxing out the right now
Because
Right now
I feel closer to you
Than I ever have

Even when
I passed out
and woke up in the hospital

Lost my step mom
Losing my mind
Sipping wine on the vestibule

You save the pieces
I thought to be
Unsalvageable
Corrected visions
Of
Life’s just a fucked up interview
With a browbeating God
Making rules to mock the weak
Had me losing sleep
Like
If I keep fucking around
God won’t love me

Those Silly things

Then you
Produced little me
An all inclusive
WE

Speculating on the future
Crying through labor
Reading lips through pants
Responding with anxious rants

BABY… I’m Right here!

Losing myself in moments
of doctor appointments
Sonograms of an immature fetus
Thinking
You can’t beat this

She… Is a better me
I
Think of the Luxury of
What I have
And
Where we’re going

Mr. Styles

It’s a Boy

8 pounds

6 ounces
.
.
.
7:20 Wednesday morning

Deal Breaker

Deal Breaker

“What are the odds?”

Potty mouths are

Allowed… In small doses

Since…

I tend to get started at 7a.m. with mine

Usually when I’m standing in line

At Duane Reade

With something in hand that I really don’t need

To some vulgar language… is a deal breaker.

Untamed mouths

Speaking on any and everything

Ms.,  Really..

Chris isn’t any good ‘till there’s caffeine in me

What’s a deal breaker for me?

A very shapely body

Stylishly put together outfit

With shoes that don’t really fit

Forcing a false switch

Looking as if

Those six inch medieval

Bearers of pain

Was part of the game..

No…

See, the rule book says

Being comfortable

Trumps

cute and silly

…a devoted mind means

possibly

later…

we can get drinks

But, if your mind is stuck on pain

Grinning to freeze time

Forgetting the friction

 just a minute

Striking a pose

Like, you wish you had all this…

Nah Ms.

That’s a deal breaker

I’ll explain more later…

(To be Continued)

FRESH

I spoke to her backwards

…So she could understand where I was coming from

She intercepted thoughts meant for safe keeping

…I passed on stealing moments, figuring I’d take what was given

She penned portions too large for consumption

…I’m still digesting last week’s conversation

Being brand new is always beautiful….

(c) Unpredictable Styles 2011

I'm a Mess

For real

Words touch

And turn with enough torque

To twist my conscious into

A

Dis. Formed

Figure of

Former sense making reality

Really

She held the keys

Meaning

She could abruptly

Walk into me

And

My locks have been the same for years

No changes

There’s been hurt and anger building

Like communal blocks

And still...

Here Ms. Lady

Here are the keys

..controlled

Emotions lacked the…

Space to grow

I was making room

I’ll admit

The pace was slow

But

My emotional packages are heavy…

…Bare with me please.

I’m not posing  when standing still

Ice grill and all

Like, for real

I’m reflecting on my life

You can see it on my face

This shit is ill..

But still..

I picked a corner

In my space

To cultivate us

And

At times it gets cramped

That’s because we’re pushing past bullshit

The same shit that you walked past

When you came in..

I’m filled with portions of sin

Less the portions that

Actually hold weight

And

Make your hair stand on end

I, need you..

I need you to pardon the mess,

These boxes are on their way out.

(c) Chris Styles / Pieces of a Man 2011

I left a message

I left a message

“when talking isn’t really communicating”

Clearing my throat to capture Assurance by the neck

and strangle the shit out of it…

I have to put my .ALL. in this message

and

Some how prove points

That

Make sense only in the bubble that I live in

feeling dramatic

in rare court room fashion

fashioning

truth to

my saber tooth tactics of,

Having to speak with uninhibited passion…

Looking in the mirror practicing

Capturing

Facial posturing

As if rebuttals

Were being slung

And my

Hypnotic techniques

Placed pleasures

On my tongue

To be paraded in your face

I AM THAT DUDE!

Here goes…

*Ring, Ring, Ring*

“I’m not available right now, ESPECIALLY NOT FOR CHRIS

Leave a message after the beep. Everyone, except  CHRIS!”

Feeling like she got the drop on me

Losing every ounce of what made me cocky

I could now only utter the words

“Baby, I’m sorry… I must have been outside of my mind.”

(c) Chris Styles / Slow Sippin' 2009

Just Me

I’m the antithesis of proper speech…
words formed with scorn
Caught in throat, waiting for breath to be born
My backwards preachy methods
Are deemed unruly and reckless
Must be inner me, a throw back of vinyl records
Needles in the groove … Creating the groove
Melodies inducing a positive mood

Please; Pardon my dyslexic mannerisms
But My backwards mechanisms
Make Angelic motions a hard adjustment …

I’m - scripts spit from a window pane
Half closed, yet still exposing my pain
Because…Co-joined housing is such.a.social drain
my words connect almost by reflex
you call it POETRY  - I call it emotion

That’s as good as it gets
…I fell in love with her
Wrote words wrapped around - HER

Well, in a round about way…
I Displayed passion of a flexible wrist
Wrote her notes of Joy

but
Felt jaded when the content was flipped …
Felt like she wasn’t really in love with Chris
False flagging her devotion; talking about
What the other people spit…
She Reminded me of a few “So called friends”…
Then I switched my Pen and Controlled the leaks
of scribbled portions of me Coaxing..
While coating clean sheets with a soiled speech
smiling because Poetry always gets the best of me..

(c) Chris Styles / Slow Sippin' 2009

She asked me to write for her..

She asked me to write for her…

I Thought thoughts were
suppose to be kept under lock and key
…but, Coincidentally
mine became ruptured lines
Leaking a fusion of, teenage infatuation and inebriated wit

Meaning,
the slick shit I spit
Encroached on inner her
Forcing the cracks in inner me
To widen and give more of a perspective
On the true reason I must lean on everything

Nice to meet you…

I feel like
This is the last night
And
We fell deep in “like”
And
Touches became strokes
And
I could orchestrate “LOVE”
via heart strings and a love note

Yeah Witty C is scratching the surface
Trying to get deep
but seriously
I need you to get to know me

Watch as I
Force the truth to the surface by
Expelling the embellishments - Half truths,
The well written portions of fantasies
by
Actors and actresses enjoying the scenery

I’m funny Style..

But my cracks and flaws
I don’t hide anymore
This leads to explanations and insecurities

So, this is me

And

this is me viewing you from the sideline
Your profile is a sick etched out piece of work
Your lines are defined as
Beauties elaborate blessing to the eyes
and, I’m Lucky enough to partake in the vision

But hey…

If I go by the way of
Our social ills
I would have to play the 'fall back' guy

Embracing thoughts of ,
She’s fly
But, So... Am... I

With my middle finger in the air
I say fuck what you heard

I’m.. Falling into a zone that might make it hard to go home
I... Need her to know, I... want fruitful conversation
Planting seeds with the promise to always feed me, mentally

This is worth a kiss
But I’ll settle for
Words of wisdom
Left to wander in my thoughts and marry sentences
That run on with no periods
There are only pauses to catch our breath
And go in again…

She asked me to write for her..

Nice to meet you.



(c) Chris Styles 'Pieces of a Man' 2010